"MY FEELINGS : ANXIETY"
Little things stress me out,
People tell me to always stay out 'cause they say "Girl, you won't make it out"
Everyone hates me, including my own reflection;
There is a lot of stuff to chose from; but anxiety takes care of selection.
Life is hard and its been throwing boulders my way;
Like the free and clear clouds my heart wants to sway.
I can never get my thoughts together or decide what I want;
When I'm with people,Oh, boy! I try my level best to flaunt.
I wake up everyday and look at myself;Dismayed and disappointed, my eyes start to water.
As tears roll down my cheeks, I wipe the tears away, halfway.
Everyone points towards me and calls it drama.
Then I put up a front and show fake hauteur.
Nobody ever wants to feel my pain.
They greet and talk when they want a favor or some gain.
I practice smiling everyday and acting gets harder,
Laying in bed, looking at the moon;
Asking why does my happiness wander.
I am scared, lonely and vulnerable. Everybody tries to rule my world.
Life is just so bad, why did it happen to me?
That's the question, I always ponder.
I am seized in a cage, NOBODY IS WILLING TO HELP ME.
I had wings but hate and depression clipped them; took my power away from me.
I am tied in chains, I can't breathe, I am suffocating.
Every little noise, makes my heart stop beating.
Trying to end my life, every damn day, because I don't rule it.
Sitting there wondering, am i ever gonna be free.
Then finally, I stop trying and i quit.
I gave up on life and the bulb that had hope and i used to look at; even its light has started to blip.
My will power has diminished, the chains have started to slip.
I open my eyes to realize that these were my feelings,
I still gotta get up and looking at the ceiling.
Like always, I tell myself just one more day.
Because at night there are still a lot of lies and discouragement for me to deal with;
I know I won't sleep but still I'll close my eyes and in my bed, restlessly, I'll lay.
~LEAH
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